Shiney what nots along with a side of cynical thoughts...ENJOY!: Spring Break is almost over.....

Hmmm...

Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are times you still feel shipwrecked and alone. Times even the most resourceful survivor would feel the need to put a message in a bottle, or on an answering machine. Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.- Carrie Bradshaw

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring Break is almost over.....

I hate myself for being gay but i also hate myself for not telling everyone either...i hate myself for being fat, I wish I was thin and good looking but unfortunately i'm not. I hate that one day I'm gonna have to look my dad straight in the eye and tell him I'm gay, and watch the disappointment and anger wash over his face PRAYING that he does not hurt me. I would kill myself but I cant do that to my mom, because if I did that I would have killed her too because she would never do anything but sit in the front living room until she died. I have the worst self confidence of any person you will ever meet. I can't forgive easy either, i guess I am just a bad person in general...fail.